'If you give yourself to it, it gives itself to you'
I am young, passionate, and strong. At times I am bold, confident, and fierce. At times I am insecure, vulnerable, emotional, and small. I have always been open. Open to new, open to all or nothing, open to everything that needed to come across my way. Despite all of this, at times I ignored this new. This all or nothing, these little gifts that were given to me by life. I ignored the spark, the thing that made me feel alive.
And as we all know: life goes on. After years of working in the hospitality industry, I gained some knowledge. Some understanding of the business. I worked here and there, I started studying. I filled in the blank spots in my agenda, thinking I figured it all out. I got a fulltime job, did some extra work on the side and I continued. I continued and continued, until continuing wasn't an option anymore.
I became loud.
About my dreams, my goals, my 'so-called' purpose.
I became unsure. I became overwhelmed.
Until I became quiet.
I became quiet and everything started coming back to me.
The caring, the creating, the cooking, the not-so-accidentally surrounding myself by beautiful and inspiring people.
I became quiet and there it was: trust, time, space, energy in motion, the connection. The sparkle, the thing that makes me feel alive.
Sitting there. In silence.
I believed I wasn't the only one with a story like this.
However, to live up to an understanding as such, we have to make a change.
I ended my relationship. I quit my job. I moved out of a perfect place to live.
I set myself free.
In our lives, we experience all sorts of change. We experience challenge.
We experience good and bad, happy, and sad. In our private and work lives, in our past, in our present.
To eventually question:
Is there even a difference between them all?
Aren't we going through these ups and downs to discover that actually, they are part of the whole? To grow into an essential belief that we are 'one undivided without a second'?
- In Liefde -